Understanding a teenager's needs

The teenage years are a period of great change and adjustment for both a young person and their family and friends.  It can be difficult, challenging, and at times, a very emotionally charged period for all concerned.  The over-riding need for the teenager though, is to be able to create their own personal identity in the context of relationships with others, and this can be both confusing and confrontational for them and their family and school/work support network.

Some things that may be helpful to be aware of is that a teenager usually needs:

• To be treated as an individual
• Not to be judged, labelled, or dismissed
• To be respected for his / her own opinion
• To have his / her feeling accepted, acknowledged and understood
• To be offered support, encouragement and comfort
• Freedom to make their own choices about their lives and future
• Not to be pressurised by "should's" and "should nots"
• SPACE
• To be understood and accepted that as one of today's teenagers, his/her life may be very different from those of teenagers 10, 20, or 30 years ago

A teenage quote that may explain some of a teenager's difficulties and its impact on others:

"I know that when I keep having goes at people it usually means I'm upset underneath.  But at the time I wouldn't admit it."

Teenagers usually come through this turbulent period with a strong sense of self-identity; this sense is important in sustaining them and their families with hope.  It is also important to be aware that occasionally either teenagers and their families need some independent support in exploring some of the difficulties of their lives and in establishing what is really important for the young person.