How to help your child to grieve

Children usually learn about death from the loss of a pet - which can be heartbreaking enough.

1. Tell the truth about the loss - avoid euphemisms such as 'lost', 'gone away', or a 'long sleep'.  That might lead the child to think that the dead person could come back, or make them terrified of going out or to sleep.

2. Children need reassurance that the illness/accident is different from anything they might suffer.

3. Children need to know that death is final.

4. Be prepared to answer the same questions over and over again.

5. Don't be afraid to let children see your sadness, but reassure them that you and they will feel better soon.  This can help them to express their own feelings.

6. Allow your children as much involvement as you feel is appropriate, such as attending the funeral.  Secrecy can create fears.

7. Be prepared for their behaviour to change - ie. insecurity, tears, sleep disturbance, aggression, and bed wetting.  Consider getting professional help if it persists for months.

8.  Look after yourself too.